A Grandpaw and a Gun

    

    I don't know if this picture matches the Easter we spent with my grandparents, the memory seems to match the age. 

My Grandmaw Irene, Grandpaw Lloyd, Kim, Karen and me. 

   My cousin, Kim, no doubt my first best friend. No matter when we had the chance to see each other, from my earliest memory of her, it was always a happy time. I was always excited. 

   This Easter, I remember her and I sleeping on a fold-out sofa bed. When we woke up in the morning, the Easter baskets were no where to be found. I I can still see so clearly, Kim and I sitting on the bed and looking at my Grandpaw at the door. His story: he shot the Easter Bunny when he was jumping out of the window, and that was why we didn't have any Easter baskets! The thought that the bunny was dead was just horrible, my little child mind couldn't grasp that idea. Thinking about it now ,

I'm not surprised by his story, it was his niche-storytelling. 

   And the final memory, walking in the front room, my grandparent's room, and finding our baskets sitting there. I still have the basket. 💛💚💜

I LOVE

I LOVE.....

• how you don't ask in the morning how work is going.  Heck, you don't ask at all, any time during the day. 
• how you don't ask how I'm feeling, ever.  
• how you don't dance with me, regardless of the occasion.  I simply appreciate more the ones who did (you know those precious friends who would twirl me around the floor), and the times I get to take pictures at events and watch others dance, all the time thinking those ladies have won the lottery and don't even know it. 
• how you only wash your own dish and not all the others that are stacked up.  It's a great reminder that no one will take care of me but me. 
• how you don't call me baby.  Not because you don't know how to call someone baby but because you don't look at me that way.  You call our daughter baby.  It's the perfect vision of your perception.  It is the most stark reminder of those that have special nicknames. It makes me appreciate them even more.  
• how you give me a hard time about drinking any kind of beverage.  You miss out on the me that is a bit more carefree, fun, cheesy.  Just different ;-)
• how you don't like to spend so much time with family, near and far.  It makes me appreciate them and my time with them even more.  They wrap me in the good stuff. I feel comfortable around them and know it's okay to be me.  
• how you don't ever ask what you can do to help, with anything.  I see you're drowning, don't worry about the clothes, the dishes, the house.  Oh, you need me to stack some papers for you, put them in alphabetical order?  No problem, I can do that in a few minutes.  Nope, never.  
• how you control the remote EVERY SINGLE DAY AND NIGHT.  If you are in the house, it doesn't matter if I want to watch something, I better go sit in the room, alone, and watch it because it won't be with you.  
• how every conversation is diabolical and manipulated because you simply can't imagine that people do not have an ulterior motive.  That maybe, just maybe, they don't think that deeply about simple things.  The deep stuff is saved for the big things, like emotions and love.  
• how you like to hug on a pillow or a blanket that ends up between us.  It hurts my back so much and pushes me so far away from you.  Another opportunity for me to be thankful for those that loved freely, and didn't feel the need to hold back affection for any reason at all. 
• how you are so judgmental of physical appearance and beauty.  I become even more grateful for the love of my body.  There are some who can desire a person, regardless of physical attributes.  Desire is a mighty powerful thing (the most powerful for me.  I don't think you've noticed that).  
• how you disregard tears.  In fact, I'm pretty sure you have never cried.  
• how our children have some of my most sincerest personality traits.  I have no doubt how that's going to benefit them.  
• how so many actions, by others, that I tell you are out of line but somehow you make me sound irrational.  Maybe I'm too much of a feeling=actions kind of person.  Or my loyalty is entirely too great and too deep.